Hey everyone,

Oh my gosh, I can't believe that I'm just now getting to posting. It has been quite a while, hasn't it?

Well, as always, when there has been some time between my post you can typically assume one of two things.

One, that things are going great! Classes are interesting, friends are inviting, and grades are good.

Or two, that things have gone stagnant. Classes are dragging along, there are no new happenings around campus, and grades are relatively okay; nothing extraordinary.

Unfortunately, things have been more of the latter. I have spent a lot of time these past few weeks dragging along in my classes which, for better or for worse, has gotten me here, three weeks away from finals just waiting for this semester to end. 

When I think about my posts from last year, at this time, I am reminded of how happy I was. Of how active I was on the island, and how my heart was full of love for both my home and school. But it hasn't been like that this year.

I'm trying. 

I'm trying to be more active, to see more, and to spend more of my time thinking optimistically rather than pessimistically. However, it's a feat that is much easier written than done. 

I'm sure that this post is going to leave many of you confused. But I thought you liked Hawaii? What happened to how much you loved Manoa? 

But let me stop you right there-- I do love Oahu, but I don't love Manoa. 

I think a lot of this stems from the fact that for the past two semesters I have been very unhappy within my major. I'm unhappy, especially, with how classes have been this semester. The fact that I have appointment to see counselors because of everything that has been going on is extremely upsetting. Life was not like this last year, when I had a solid group of friends and were taking classes I liked. School was not like this last year, where I wasn't being degraded by my professor for not understanding her- literally. My friends were not like this last year, where I'm being ignored because they're not my "first priority". None of this year has been like last year. 

And I'm not saying change isn't a good thing or that I don't look at where I am now and appreciate it, because I do. I appreciate that I'm able to get an education and that I have been fortunate enough to get myself this far, but it's growing increasingly harder to enjoy myself when I'm living in an environment that is not anything like what I wanted. 

I'm going to spend the next few weeks trying to live more optimistically, and if that means changing my major, transferring, or connecting with old friends, than so be it. I'm not going to waste my time here, especially under the premise that it could be my last year here.

Until next time,

Aislinn