Hey everyone!

I decided to try something new this semester and make a post fittingly titled, "Semester One Top 10". In this post I will cover the top 3 most impactful things that have happened to me, both good and bad.  And, quite honestly, this has something which has been in my drafts for quite a while now; so I'm very excited to finally be sharing this post with you all. As my last post in 2017, what better way to end it than by sharing the things that made me, me?


1. I found out what I really want in a school...or, I'm figuring out what I really want in a school. This year was a rather rocky one when it came to learning more about Manoa and what the school is actually like, and I had many days where I wanted to leave this island and many days where you couldn't drag me off. At this point in time, I can say that I haven't given much thought to transferring. Instead, I've looked more into studying abroad. I realized that transferring would make it more likely that I wouldn't be able to go abroad, whereas staying at Manoa guarantees it. Manoa is by no means perfect, but it's hard to beat the number on the price tag. Furthermore, in talking about my concerns with Daniel, I think he brought up a really good point which was, "Wherever you go you're bound to find the bad things. Every student at every school after two years can tell you at least a handful of things they don't like about their school. It's something that doesn't change even if you transfer, because in two years you could very well be back to disliking wherever else you end up,". I never looked at transferring, or even Manoa, like this, so having heard this I realized that it could have very well been the people and academia that have led me to the feelings I felt weeks ago. Regardless, Manoa is a place that I really hope I can learn to love again, especially in 2018.

2. I realized who my real friends are and the kinds of people I want to surround myself with. This is sounding like I'm beating a dead horse, and for that reason I won't reiterate why I moved out and why I no longer will be friends with my old roommates, but I will say this: In 2017 I thought I had a group by my side who would be there throughout everything. Understandably things changed, classes got harder, people got more stressed, and along the way I realized that the people I had been surrounding myself with are not the kinds of people I want to associate with. I strive to build relationships with those who will encourage, support, and stand by me. In 2017, especially the latter half, I realized that I was tired of being in an environment where I wasn't being supported or treated like a best friend should be treated. I moved out, became closer to the people around me, and have a new perspective on everything around me now that I am in a place where I feel welcome and comfortable. In 2018 I can only hope to make friends with girls who lift me up, encourage me through my hard times, and stand by me through my good times. 

3. I met Daniel and found that Oahu really isn't as big as I had thought. With Daniel by my side, I have seen so much more of this island, this ocean, and this state, than I would have ever dreamed possible. Late nights in Kahala Beach playing with bioluminescence and looking at the stars from tiny little bungalows, driving hours West to Kaena Point just to catch a brief glimpse of the sun one last time for that day, holding hands throughout Sunday mass because we understand that in that one hour we are not there for ourselves but for Him, gifting him with a cage free shark dive off the shores in Haleiwa, and flying to Maui to spend our first holiday together are just some of the many many ways we have come to know one another. In 2018 I hope and pray that we will have many more adventures together and that we can learn to take our time together not for granted. 

I hope that as the year 2017 winds down that everyone is no longer feeling the holiday stress that we all felt so few days ago. I hope that you all continue to enjoy your vacations or holiday break, and that throughout it all you are excited for what the new year has to offer. 

Until next year,

Aislinn 

Hey everyone!

This week has been a very eventful, rather annoying, kind of week.

For starters, this week was finals week. I had 5 finals this week and two of them were the dreadful 7:30AM ones. While they didn't last long, here was my week at a glance:

My first final took place on Monday: Political Science. It was dark when I left, as this final was at 7:30. The test took just over an hour for me to complete and was identical to the midterm.

Tuesday was my next final and unfortunately I had to wait until 2:40 to take it. This one was China's Political Economy and, since the paper half was due last week, the only thing I had left to do was then complete the oral exam. Thankfully the exam didn't take more than 20 minutes, and I left with the promise that I would personally be given Chinese food on Thursday. Because of this I'm going to assume I did very well.

On Wednesday, I had my last three exams. They started at 7:30 with my Chinese exam, followed by Korean at 9:45 and finally at 2:15 I took my Oceanography exam.

Overall I think the exams went fairly well. I spent a lot of time over the past few nights studying in campus center with my friends Lara and Hailey, so I took them feeling confident that I had done the best I could. I've also spent the past few nights sleeping at my friend Lara's apartment instead of my own, and I think that is the perfect segway into the next topic I wanted to write about..

I'm moving out!

I'm so excited to be packing up my bags and moving into a new on-campus apartment. Living where I have lived this semester has been horrible and I can sleep so much better elsewhere. I've already seen my new living situation and I love it. The space is so open, so clean, and very breezy! I cannot say it enough how excited I am!!

I will be sure to post lots of pictures of the new place, including my new layout. I hope you are as excited as I am to start this new chapter!!

Until next time,

Aislinn

Hey guys,

This post is quite a strange one, as I would bet most of you won't typically come across something such as this. But I firmly stand by the notion that I should be honest in what I write, and it is the dedication to publishing real and raw content that has led me to creating this post.

There is a rather large, rather negative, association between mental illness and seeking out help. I want to stop myself here and emphasize that by no means am I going to write this and share with you all that I have a "mental illness", because I don't, but I do want to talk about my experiences obtaining help at a university.

I have never gotten to speak to a psychiatrist before, been on medication, or so much as kept a diary in which I could write down things that bother me. The closest thing I have ever come to is having a friend as my confidant or using this blog to serve the purpose of that similar to a diary. However, this semester took a very large toll on me. I frequently felt drained, lost, and tired.

I hit my breaking point about a month ago, at what I would say was the peak of the unnecessary problems inside my classroom and out. I became extremely frustrated at how I was beginning to feel constantly belittled in Chinese class. I grew increasingly tired with my situation at my apartment. I became more and more distraught at having no clue how I got this far in the semester when I couldn't remember what I had for dinner last night, much less that I had done the homework required the next day for class. All of these things and more led to me walking into the student services office and making that first appointment.

I was scared. I was nervous. I was shaking. But I was told it wouldn't be but two weeks until I could speak with someone. Two weeks I remember thinking to myself Is it even worth it to go? But I did not cancel. I wanted to; don't get me wrong, I so badly wanted to call and cancel my appointment. I had thoughts in my head of how wrong it was that I was seeking out help, and made regular attempts at trying to convince myself that I didn't need help, and that I must have something wrong with me if I am to get help.

On the day of, two weeks later and bright and early in the morning, I was sitting outside the office. My leg was shaking, fingers quickly tapping away on my phone to help preoccupy my hands. To keep myself busy. To distract myself. It was a lame attempt that was made no better when the woman, the same one to help me, called out my name and startled me to where I knocked over my metal water bottle on the shiny floor, causing everyone to jump and stare. Great I thought just what I need. So I follow her into the back, entering her office and taking a seat on a sofa with cushions very much used. My first thought was that she must see people often; and how I was nervous for what was to come.

The appointment lasted 50 minutes and included notes, spiels on what certain questions mean, and explanations on how this initial appointment won't do much in terms of helping me. 

At UH, and I'm sure across many campuses, the first visit in to see the psychiatrist is considered your "initial" one. However, there is very little help in this 50 minute session. It's a lot of me explaining why I want to be there, and more time spent explaining how they're going to take "my case" and try and match me to a counselor. I'm allotted 6 sessions a semester, and appointments depend greatly on the amount of other students who need to be seen. From what I can gather, many students want to be seen at UH, and this has led to the office having to be open on study days and place counselors within residence halls, just in case you can't make it in one day. 

Overall I think it helped. I wouldn't say it was life changing, nor would I say I left feeling like I knew all the answers. It helped in the sense of calming me down, getting me to talk out loud about what I'm concerned about, and allowed me to talk to someone with an unbiased opinion. 

I have another appointment, but that's not until tomorrow. I might make another post about this in the future, but for now I think I would rather have it be left unsaid. My main goal was to share this experience to depict how most first sessions go, and emphasize that there is truly nothing to be worried about. There is nothing wrong with talking to people and there is nothing wrong with trying to help yourself. 


Until next time,

Aislinn

Hey everyone,

I'm writing this post to share what has happened to me over the past week and, in upcoming posts, what changes I'm going to be implementing to help make next semester a better one.

However, before we get into that I want to start with a proper introduction. 

Words are powerful. Words allow for the possibility of change and, even more, can instigate change. I repeat, words are powerful. And I have found that when your words are met with a call for an immediate cease, that the resolution cannot be to give in. You see I was told to stop writing. To stop sharing. To stop using my blog as a platform in which I have implied that the situation I am in, the situation that I have been in, has been falsified. But it is just that, when people tell you to silence your voice, is the exact time in which you need to keep writing. You need to keep going. Keep sharing, keep talking, keep going. I refuse to let the voice of a loud minority shut my blog down, and I refuse to close the pages of a book I have used as a free space to share my feelings, my rightfully so feelings, for good. I won't do it because I now realize how powerful my words are. And I want to share that realization with you.

Words are powerful. And with that, this will continue to be the platform in which I can freely speak my mind. I will no longer change my posts to please others, doubt the content that I share, and hesitate before clicking the publish button. Words are powerful and I am, too. 

I was told, in a poor attempt to resolve problems (that of which did not exist), to no longer use my platform as a method of sharing my experiences at Manoa. 

I would like to point out that if none of you have read the bio of this blog, that the entire point of this blog is to share my experiences at Manoa. In demanding that I no longer use this space as an area in which I can share my experiences, subsequently demands that I cease the entirety of this blog. 

And sure, I could make this post as a petty way to vent or rant or just simply to relieve some steam; but I won't. Let me also use this as a time to add that this blog has become a way to help myself heal and no longer continue to keep things bottled up inside. One would think, in knowing how much I have struggled this year, that I would be encouraged to continue the use of this platform- but I am sorry to say this is not the case.

But I am proud to say I will not back down. If my words effect people they can simply click the little red X at the top corner of the screen and not return. That's the beauty of words. You don't need to read them if you don't want to.

I encourage all of you to use this as an example. Take what I am going through and use this to further fight whatever fight you're going through. You are powerful. 

And to those who have asked me to try harder and to stop using this platform, just remember you can have your cake but you can't eat it too. 

Until next time,

Aislinn

Hey guys!!!

Ahhh! This post is one much anticipated and is going up so soon after its happened!

As I hinted at in my previous post, I was fortunate enough to go to another island with Daniel. While I'm sure many of you were curious as to just what island I went to, I am happy to announce that we went to Maui!

Jokingly referred to as our "Maui Moon", the two of us left Wednesday night and left Saturday night.



Given the arrival time on Wednesday, we were left with no choice but to get the car and go straight to the hotel. Instead of a resort, the two of us agreed upon spending our time at a more low-key of a place called The Maui Coast. The location was great and the size of the room even better! I've never slept so good, and with so much space, than on that king sized bed on the second floor.

On Thursday the two of us woke up bright and early, 7:00, to grab our things and head off to breakfast at Kihei Cafe! Located less than half a mile from the hotel, we decided to drive and, instead of going back for the car only to drive right by the restaurant, we chose to leave right after breakfast to the next destination: Lahaina Town.

Kihei Cafe

Myself with my order, the regular omelet, and Daniel's kalua loco moco

On the way to Lahaina Town we pulled over to admire the view from a lookout. I thought the other island was Oahu, but it could have very well been Molokai or Lanai. Who knows!

Lahaina Town is a little marina town on what Daniel referred to as "The nugget", or the outer left, part of Maui. There are lots of boats, ice cream shops, tourist shops, and high end stores that one can expect to see. Personally I saw that Lahaina was the Cape Cod of Maui, due to how quaint and small-town the area felt.




In short, Lahaina Town is a little out of the way, but is definitely worth the drive. Daniel also called this "The Waikiki of Maui" due to the types of stores and scene of Lahaina.

After Lahaina, because it was Thanksgiving, we went back to the room to change and get ready for dinner. On the way we made a quick stop at the famous blowhole that has the heart shaped rock. While it was windy and very, very salty, the two of us agreed that we wouldn't risk walking down to but instead admire from the top.




 And then, after our quick stop home to change, we drove to Humble Market and were met with a delicious array of food at the restaurant. As it was buffet style, we made sure to get as many crab legs and prime rib as we wanted.
This dinner concluded Thursday.

Friday morning was another one that we chose to enjoy in the morning. At 8:00 we packed up our bags, which for me meant wearing a fanny pack, and started up the car. We grabbed breakfast in Paia Town at a cute little hole in the wall called Paia Coffee. Daniel and I both ordered the original scramble, only his had goat cheese and a bagel. Mine had toast.


After our hearty breakfast we loaded back into the car and started on the Road to Hana.

The Road to Hana is paved, quite literally, with over five dozen turns, fifty curves, and some of the most breathtaking views on island. While it was advised that we split the road into two days, doing half on Friday and the latter half on Saturday, Daniel and I decided that we would be better off knocking the entire thing out in one take. Needless to say we were nauseous as could be while in the homestretch of the drive.

Our first stop was Twin Falls. Twin Falls is, as the name implies, a hiking trail which leads one to two waterfalls. It's not the famous waterfall that you'll see in most pictures of Maui, but its a nice break from the road that I would recommend taking.








After the brief hike we were back on the road for a little longer before stopping again at another lookout.

 And another stop..

 Next stop on our little road trip was a cute little farm stand about halfway into the road. Daniel's only request on the road was that we somehow find him a coconut that he can drink from, and thankfully this bright little hut had some. After buying him the fruit we went above the hut on a little grass hill that provided us the opportunity to view the beautiful ocean.


 

 With only a handful of miles left to go on the road, this is when things got very inteResting. For example, on the Road to Hana one can find dozens of little fruit stand which operate under the honor code. What this means is that the fruits are left unattended and are accompanied by a little box that one can place money in. While each fruit is labeled with a price (often times fruits like banana's were less than $1 for a hand!) Many stands contained oranges, bananas, lemons, avocados, pineapple, and coconut. One stand even had dragon fruit, whereas another had coconut trees for $5.


 After our brief stop to admire the cute little stands we stopped one more time at the famous black sand beach (note: there is not just one black sand beach, but for some reason this is the most popular one).





And of course; what is a nice drive without some pictures of the drive itself?


 Stay with me; we're almost done! Our last stop was the national park. From here you can see one of the more famous waterfalls and a large bamboo forest!











Ok, now I promise we're almost done!

After the first hike Daniel and I knew we were on a crunch for time. We had dinner reservations to meet at 8 and, as hard as we may try, could not get cell service for quite a while. Naturally at the end of this road the two of us were absolutely drained, we finally got service and were fortunate enough to get the reservations pushed back to 8:30.

Dinner was, without a doubt, one of the most elegant meals I have ever had. Daniel treated me to dinner at Ruth Chris, which is a very fancy steakhouse. We ordered the: Ruth's Salad, Cream of Spinach, Porterhouse for 2, Lobster mac n cheese, and mashed potatoes. As delicious as it all was, I have never been that full in my life. With how high-class the restaurant was, we could not spare to leave any piece left behind. While Daniel took care of most of the food (I was way too tired and full to eat even half of it) what we did enjoy for the days thereafter was the lobster mac n cheese.

And that concludes Friday.

Saturday was our day of rest where we decided that, instead of waking up very early to go to Haleakae, we would sleep in and spend our time elsewhere, seeing the sunset at the top of the crater instead.

Breakfast was at Kihei Cafe again. I ordered the french toast with bananas and macadamia nuts (and coconut syrup on the side!) and Daniel went with an steaks and egg.

 After breakfast we spent some time walking around Paia Town again, where I was able to grab a very cute necklace of the Hawaiian Islands. While the weather wasn't very good I'm glad that Daniel and I were able to enjoy ourselves and spend some time window shopping. Paia is truly a very cute town.

With some time to spare we made a quick pitstop at the Lavender Farm; a place that Daniel still stands by as being one of his favorite places on Oahu.

The Lavender Farm is a quiet space up on the side of the mountain-- literally. With dozens of plants, a paved walking path, and cute benches to sit on and admire the view of the island, the Farm is by far one of the most underrated places on Maui. In fact, I didn't even bring it up at first because I didn't think it would be of interest; but I'm so glad we went.









Unfortunately the bad weather followed us, so while on the top of Haleakala I was not able to grab any photos besides this one. Unfortunately I messed up and put 1000 feet instead of 10,000, but you all get the gist.

And yes, you read that right. 10,000 feet is how high up we were. I'm sure you're also curious about just how cold it was up there, too. Well, at the very top, in the midst of all the rain and wind, the temperature was 43˚.

Rushing down the crater we were relieved to end up back at our hotel without that impending feeling of nausea. We grabbed a quick bite to eat at Monkeypod and, with bulgogi in my stomach and fish in Daniels, went back to our hotel for the night.

And with that Saturday came to a close.

Our last day on the island was Sunday. We were stumped with thinking of ideas of what to do, and while our original plan was to return to Lahaina, we realized about halfway there that it would only make sense if we did the Road to Hana once more, for good time's sake. Since this was the second time doing it, I didn't take any pictures, but for those wondering there was, in fact, an accident on the road. Granted, it was a tree, it still left the road backed up for a good hour.

In addition to the tree in the road, Daniel and I made sure to stop at the Smokehouse (quite literally a grill under a covering in a clearing on the side of the road) and got a quick bite to eat. Let me just say the meat was amazing. It was pork on top of a bed of rice on top of a leaf. Such an unique presentation but such delicious food. I would go back in a heartbeat.

Of course, there was no conceivable way that we could drive the entire road for a second time and still make our flight, so after the drive we turned the car in and then went to the airport to play the waiting game.

I'll spare everyone the boring details, but, in short, we were there for three hours with a delayed flight. Atrocious, I know. And the flight from Maui to Oahu is only 20 minutes, so why we were there for so long is still mind boggling.

After returning Daniel and I raced to get his car and grab dinner, something we had planned on doing hours before. We ate at Gen and enjoyed tasty meat and fish. Afterwords he dropped me off at campus and made the drive back to his place.

In short, because I know this post has been my longest one yet, Maui was incredible. It is, without a doubt, my favorite island. The things one can do, see, and visit are all so different than what one can have the opportunity to do on Oahu. I'm so so grateful for having had this opportunity and I cannot wait to go back.

Until next time,

Aislinn